A Selfish Desire

I guess many fanfiction creators might have struggled with the popularity of their works and so have I done. In fact, I sometimes still struggle with it. I have confidence in the overall quality of the work in process and, yes, I do expect more people would like reading it. On the other hand, however, I fear for being challenged - to be honest, this is no doubt not the worst situation - and being caught up in meaningless quarrels and criticism - and that's the worst one, for all these things will definitely stop me from continuing my writing. 

"Today is Yesterday" is created in a very personal way with capricious attempts and courageous expressions. It tends to present a contemporary social scenery of China seen from the protagonists who live this-worldly but were through in their precious lives the mundane inferno, a series of political movements and class struggles after the founding of the new China. But what I attempt to do here is to let it never stop going forward. I would like to present their continuous efforts aiming at making the world, the homeland and people living there better, their embracing of hope and love, their ambitions of today, as well as their vision of future. And that is what Today is Yesterday aims at, together with its retrospection of the past and comparison between the past and today.

However, I have to say that there are still some adjustments in the second season if comparing it with the first one, since my understanding to the characters is still in the process of changing, deepening, and enriching. The moulding of Ming Lou is the most challenging part, I think, for what is in the inner world of the character has been beyond mine, which has forced me to enlarge the range of my reading while trying my best to imagine what he would think now and what the changes would be after he have gone through so many things. I sometimes couldn't help thinking I might have been enchanted with the character too much. The second adjustment might be perceived in the manner of writing. Yes, I try to enhance the literary quality in this season, forming more impressive picturesque expressions and making the words vivid. 

Besides, as to readings, I have to say that most of works I have read are, to a certain degree, not in line with the academic mainstream, not matter in the fields of cultural studies, philosophy, sociology or in the respect of the historical study of the new China. Most works I read related with those political movements are published overseas in English and focus on theoretical analysis rather than documentation and narration, for my interest in this segment of history lies in its aftermaths, legacies, social, political, and philosophical meanings, and how they influence the society we live in today. And in this sense, fanfiction creation is certainly beneficial to me.

All in all, I realize that Today is Yesterday is somehow destined to be created for the few, the happy few, and that in a sense is what I am glad to see. 


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